Don’t Ignore Infertility

April 26, 2012 by Jenny Melrose
This week is National Infertility Awareness Week.  Infertility is defined as the inability to conceive or carry a pregnancy to term after 12 months of trying to conceive. If you are over the age of 35, the time of trying to conceive is reduced to 6 months.  Infertility affects 1 out of every 10 people.  I happen to be one of those ten.
Ever since I was little I knew that I wanted to have my own children.  I chose my profession so that I could work with children.  My infertility started long before I knew.  My husband and I were married at 26, but we wouldn’t be professionally and responsibly ready until we were 28 to start trying to conceive.  I looked forward to going off of my birth control with anticipation.  I knew that it was unlikely we would get pregnant right away, but I was so excited with the thought of becoming pregnant it didn’t make a difference.  To my surprise my cycle came the month after I went off of the pill, which was a shock because before I went on the pill my cycle was all over the place.  I could go six months without a cycle, but I always chalked it up to being so active with sports.  I played field hockey and basketball in college so I remained physically active even after high school. 
After the first three months of trying and each month my cycle letting me know it hadn’t happened, I was still fine.  Then the fourth month came and no cycle showed up.  I was thrilled.  I took about five tests and all came back negative.  I wasn’t devastated, but how could we try again if I still didn’t have a cycle.  I made an appointment at my doctor’s office, but needed to see someone else in the practice because she didn’t have an appointment.  This doctor, without ever having met me or knowing much about my file, told me that I had lost too much weight.  See six months prior my female doctor had told me that if we were thinking of trying to conceive then I should lose about 25 pounds to get me to a healthy weight for my height.  I had lost 30 pounds, but my BMI was exactly where it was supposed to be for a healthy weight.  I left the office and quickly looked for a new doctor.
I found a doctor that understood my personality and put me at ease.  He started me on prometrium, which is a hormone that supplemented the progesterone that I was not producing.  He explained that my body was like that of a menopausal woman.  After three months of the prometrium and still no baby I had my tubes flushed with iodine to make sure there weren’t any blockages and my husband had is sperm level counted.  Everything came back fine.  After a total of eight months of trying, I was started on the fertility drug, clomid.  I was on clomid for three months and we got a positive pregnancy test, March of 2009.  Nine months later my beautiful baby girl was born on my 30th birthday.
Riley is two and a half and since having her we haven’t not been trying.  I have to admit that the stress of trying to conceive was too much for me.  I was often told to relax and to just let it happen, but I was on two different medications that had to be taken on specific days within my cycle.  The ups and downs of trying to conceive changed me.  It made me a different person because I was consumed by it.  Joe and I came to the conclusion about six months ago that we were happy with our family of three.  If it happened when we weren’t trying then we would be ecstatic, but I needed to be a mommy to Riley, rather than worrying and stressing about having another child.  I needed to consume myself with her.  There are days where I question our decision, but then I remember that the drugs made me crazy.  My emotions were everywhere and I felt so alone during that time.
During this week of Infertility Awareness please don’t ignore those that suffer through this.  We just want you to listen.  We don’t want advice.  We just need someone to listen and be supportive.  Our emotions are everywhere.  I can honestly say that my time of trying to conceive was one of the loneliest and darkest years of my life.  Riley was well worth it though.

  • (Basic understanding of the disease of infertility.)
  • (About NIAW)
    • Comments

    • Dorothy @ Crazy for Crust

      Jenny, thank you for sharing your story. It really struck a cord with me when you talked about being okay with three…I deal with that every day. Your daughter is beautiful! (((hugs)))

    • The Belly Dancer

      That was such a beautiful post. She is truly beautiful! have a wonderful week 🙂

    • The Belly Dancer

      I am now following you via bloglovin and Google+

    • Kimberly @ See Sew and Seedlings

      Great insight…. One of my closest friends is going thru this right now and has been for almost two years. She's wanted a baby since I have known her (for 6 years). When she finally met and married her husband she was so excited to start trying only to find out at this point she can't conceive. It hurts me to see her upset when we find out that other friends are getting pregnant. Because I know she would be an amazing mother….

    • Cari and Cortnee @ Two Sasters

      Thank you for sharing your story – in the end I am sooo glad that everything worked out and you have a perfect, adorable little princess!! 🙂

    • Betsy Pool

      Thank you so much for sharing your story!! It's good to hear your insight. I am just in the beginning stages of trying to get pregnant. I'm so excited to be a parent someday (and I hope it's soon), but I know what some have been through. One of my good friends was unable to have another child after their first. They are now doing foster care and have a beautiful baby boy they hope to adopt!!

    • The Wanna-be Southern Belle

      Aww i hate reading this and that you had to go through all of this 🙁 i'm with you though…if your meant to have another god will bless you! leave it up to him, and do what makes you happy! love you guys! xoxo

    • Tabby

      This truly hit close to home. I am going to have the conversation with my doctor at my next appointment. I was a late bloomer(18), have 1-3 cycles a year and use no form of contraception… Yet, Munch is all we got. My hubby's asked for more children and I think we're ready to try… Just a little scary, ya know? Your post lets me know I'm not the only who struggles and I appreciate you for it. You're a TRUE inspiration!

    • Claiming Our Space

      This is a great post! As someone who didn't meet the love of their life until 37, I knew that it would be a struggle to get pregnant if we could at all. Now, several years later, we are resigned to not adding any 2-legged kids to our family, which may be why Willow, our 4-legged daughter, is so spoiled.

    • Wendy Mac

      Thanks for sharing. The steps we went through were almost the same as you, but it took us 1.5 years. We too decided not to go through it again and we ended up having a second on our own. The only thing that got me through was doing the one thing I could control over and to me that was to stay healthy by eating right and exercising. I felt everything else was out of my hands. I love your family of three, you guys are SUPER cute!!

    • Lindsey Regan Thorne @ be pretty

      Hi Jenny,

      Thanks for sharing your story… your journey! Kristen {your sis in law} read this aloud to me. I cried. I related. We've hit the 13 months and I've been a lost little soul. Over the past few months it's really taken a toll on me. I've felt alone and lost. As much as I hate that you wen't through all of this ~ I'm so glad I have someone that I can relate to. You took the words right from my mouth… the emotions, the ups, the downs, the “i think i am”, the people telling you to “relax”, everything… I related more to your story than I have to much of anything lately. Thank you for sharing. 13 months later and a few different treatments I'm now on my first round of a high dosage of Clo. First two days I swore it made me crazy! Anyways, I'm writing a novel now so I'll end my comment by thanking you again, hun!

      Lots of love to you and your beautiful family of 3! 🙂

    • Amy - while wearing heels

      What a beautifully written, honest and genuine post. Riley is absolutely precious. What an amazing gift to get for your birthday. I am sure, sharing your story may have been difficult BUT I am positive it touched many of your readers.

    • Natalie K.

      Thanks so much for sharing this! We did two rounds of clomid and I just was a basket case. I couldn't take all the “sorry, but you aren't pregant this time” bad news. It was like being rejected over and over. We thought about doing IVF, but with no guarantees, I knew that was not the route for us. I decided that I cared most about being a mommy, and that even though I always longed of carrying a child inside me, I would just forgo additional attempts to become pregnant. We became foster parents so that I could be a mother. But God blessed me beyond what I could ever forsee with a foster child who we hope to finalize our adoption of soon!

    • Trina

      Thank you for your very sweet and tender post. I can agree with so much of what you shared. Infertility is a painful roller coaster ride. My husband and I struggled for 8 years to conceive and went through every procedure you can imagine. I am humbled, honored and thrilled to share with you that we are now parents to three miracle babies conceived in God's timing, not ours. After many years of trying we finally laid it down at God's feet and He allowed us to conceive all 3 times naturally. So I am writing all this to say there is hope. I do remember that painful road oh so well and all the things other said to us. And you are so right, you just want someone to listen. Hugs to you!

    • Davis Holliday

      I just want to say I’m very new to blogging and seriously loved you’re web-site. More than likely I’m planning to bookmark your blog post . You actually come with beneficial articles. Appreciate it for revealing your web-site.

    • Trackbacks

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      Sunday, 25 August, 2013

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    • Trackback from Mother’s Day Story | The NY Melrose Family
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    • Trackback from Coping with Infant Stomach Problems - The Melrose Family
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