Why Moms Need to Dream

July 13, 2015 by Jenny Melrose
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Whether you are a working mom that does the 9-5 or a stay at home mom that wrangles multiple kiddos all day long, do you get the feeling ever so often like there’s something missing?  Do not get me wrong, my girls are my world and I would do everything in my power for them, but is there a piece of you that wonders where “you” went.  Their world becomes yours the second that you give birth and hold those tiny little fingers in your hand, but you can lose yourself in that world and this is why moms need to dream.

Why Moms Need to Dream

Why Moms Need to Dream

I’ve always known since I was old enough to want children that I definitely wanted to be a mother.  I wanted to teach them how to marvel at this amazing world that we live in, all the while kissing their bruises and scrapes from it.  I’m an optimist and think that the world is for my girls to shape it, but I’m also a realist and realize that they are going to have to take their lumps to get there.  I quickly found out after having Avery, my second, that their world of eating, pooping and crying can definitely swallow you up.  Especially when you’re teaching your toddler how to communicate their feelings, rather than throwing themselves to the ground.  I learned that there are three important things that you will gain by having a dream and working towards it.

#1: Your children will always need you, but there will be a time that they won’t depend upon you.   My girls are only five and two, but I’ve already felt their independence and it struck me straight to the heart.  It was something as simple as not wanting me to help put their shoes on {um, I should have been cheerleading this}, but I felt as if they were pushing me aside.  As a daughter myself, I recently did this to my own mother and I know it broke her heart.  Many of you know that I moved a little over a month ago from NY to NC, but what I didn’t truly divulge was that I went from being 40 minutes from my parents {who helped raise my girls while I went to work everyday as a teacher} to over 12 hours a way.  It was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make, but it was on my path to my dream.

#2: As mothers we always question the way that we are raising our children {there are just so many schools of thought so who wouldn’t}, but shouldn’t we show them strong women who are happy.  Let’s be honest, your children know when you are happy and I’m not talking about Mary Poppins happy.  I’m talking about being satisfied with who you are.  My two year old could sense when I had an especially rough day at my former teaching job, but my five year old could tell that “mommy doesn’t didn’t think she was doing her job well.”  It wasn’t the students that broke me.  It was the system and, although my five year old didn’t quite understand that mommy couldn’t teach a group of 17 fifth graders how to improve their six different reading levels that were as low as first grade to late fourth grade in thirty minutes twice a week, she understood that I felt inadequate.  How could I possibly teach my girls how to be a strong woman, when I felt inadequate every day?  It ate away at me and they could see it.  My dream gave me hope and I worked harder than ever to make it come true and my girls saw that.  They saw me cooking on the weekends, writing late at night and on online conference calls.  They saw me with a drive that I would have pushed through a brick wall to get through and they knew it was for me.

#3: Having a dream is often for your children.  My dream four years ago was to be able to go to my five year olds first day of school and cry my eyes out, which I’m sure you’ll all see all over instagram.  It’s not going to be pretty.  I wanted more than anything to run my blog as a business so that it could let me “retire” from teaching so that we could rely on it’s income instead.  You all have helped me make that happen because you took the time stop over or share my content and I appreciate it beyond words.  As we reach our goals our dream shifts a bit and mine has done just that, but at the core of it all is my girls.  I want the very best for them, which is why I continue to dream and work towards that dream every single day.  We all deserve to have what we want in life, but it’s those that put forth the tireless effort to make that dream come to fruition.

I want to know what your dreams are because half of the battle is often admitting it.  Once you write it down then you’ll hold yourself accountable.  You deserve it so what is it?

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    Comments

  • Carrie @ Kenarry: Ideas for the Home


    Jenny, what a great read this morning! My boys are the same age as your girls and this was just the reminder I needed of why I need to keep pursuing my dreams. Why it’s important for them to see us setting goals, striving for them and achieving them! Keep up the great work, Jenny!

    • Jenny


      Thanks so much Carrie! You are too sweet.

  • Kati


    Hello Jenny! Thank you for your beautiful words. I lost myself after my first child was born, it was too easy to get all wrapped up in my new baby. But after some time I realized I was a much better mom when I was pushing myself to do what I dreamed about and loved. Each day it’s a struggle to balance being an attentive mom with doing what I love for me, some days I do a good job, others I don’t. But I try to be the best woman I can so my kids can see they can achieve anything they dream. Thanks again 🙂

    • Jenny


      That’s just it, Kati! We are definitely better moms when we are happy and striving for something. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. I appreciate it!

  • Jennifer Cooper


    Jenny,
    I am so glad that I had the chance to read this, and it brought me to tears. I appreciate your sincerity and transparency. I sent my 9 year old only child (son) off to a week long camp this week and when I went to leave, he waved at me from across the field…. wait? My momma heart just bled and cried all the way home. I am so blessed to have rediscovered my dream and to have been introduced to a vehicle to get me there! Thank you my friend!

    • Jenny


      I can’t even imagine having to leave them at camp all week. I cried after watching Riley’s performance at dance camp and she was only gone 3 hours per day for 4 days. It just blows my mind how fast they grow up and where does that leave us? I need to have a plan B because they can’t be my plan A forever.

  • Doreen@househoneys


    Jenny, I didn’t know you moved to SC! It’s been a while, and I was going through some old comments and came across one of yours and thought I’d stop by.

    This is a thoughtful post, and as the mother of an only child who lives in Singapore, I can tell you you definitely need a Plan B! Don’t think of it that way though. It sounds too negative, almost as if it’s not as good as Plan A. Truth is, it’s better, because it will make you happier and more fulfilled in the end.

    Sounds like you’re loving SC! Isn’t it fun exploring new areas and discovering all that it offers?

  • Trackbacks

  • Trackback from Summer Spotlight: Jenny From The Melrose Family - Dwelling In Happiness
    Friday, 14 August, 2015

    […] As I’ve gotten to know Jenny through her blog, I’ve come to appreciate her heart for inspiring others and especially her love for her husband and two young girls. Jenny recently “retired” from teaching to live out her dream of focusing on her family while building her business. I just love how both her focuses have the same title: The Melrose Family. Jenny sums it up best in a recent post called Why Moms Need to Dream: […]

  • Trackback from Summer Spotlight - Jenny from The Melrose Family
    Friday, 14 August, 2015

    […] As I’ve gotten to know Jenny through her blog, I’ve come to appreciate her heart for inspiring others and especially her love for her husband and two young girls. Jenny recently “retired” from teaching to live out her dream of focusing on her family while building her business. I just love how both her focuses have the same title: The Melrose Family. Jenny sums it up best in a recent post called Why Moms Need to Dream: […]

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